today is probably the worst day of life. i was on the way to west mall to pick up a bouquet of sunflowers which is his fav flower. i was walking to the bus stop when he called..im sorry he said n for a sec i thought he was pulling my leg. but later i find out he isnt joking. im crushed because today is jan 12. the third n last special jan 12. so i say..alright i can come to ur place.. n cook.. eggs. so i went to the basement of wm to collect my flowers n it was really inconvenient to carry it all ard... i ask hanafi for directions...why is my entry turning all present tense?so i get really really agitated by his vague intructions. i get distracted from my dismal state by this woman n her daughter. they have this distinctive chinese accent i think they're from china. they definately reek of china. so i was turning away so much, i didnt wanna change seats coz she might get insulted. you hear that Santa? im caring abt how a mainlander feels. so im turning away so much i think its a yoga pose or some sort. message to the chinese beside me: ur not in mainland anymore. u HAVE to bathe more than twice a week. everyday would be prefered.

finally i get to his place.i can hear the applause, ppl cheering too. i ring the doorbell n he opens it. but his migraine is so bad he doesnt even look at me or the sunflowers im carrying.i cant blame him since he very well didnt wanna fall sick. did i mention i cancelled my taiwan trip with my mum n america trip with my sis to be in singapore on this very day? for some reason he cant open the gate so his brother comes with the key n unlocks it, but doesnt open the door for me.i thought tt was really weird. like he just unlocked it but didnt open it n invite me in.

i am so dissapointed with the way the day turned out that i stare blankly at the tv. he's got cable. when he tries to get my attention i still stare blankly at the tv.. unable to believe this is how im gonna spend my anniversary. the flowers were the first n last i give him n he juz put it away in his room..n tells me he'll put it in a vase ..after i pester him to. and then he asked if i juz came to his hse to watch cable( i dun have it at home) coz my eyes was transfixed on the telly. i got really pissed.DO U THINK IM WANTING TO SPEND MY DAY LIKE THIS?

so right now, im typing this entry. every few sentences i roll over to the bedside where he is resting n poke his body around for a bit.. and then im back at the keyboard.