why you should always check your timetable

yesterday i forgot to bring my record book home, so i didnt know what lessons i have today, and at what time, and what homework i have to get done. not that i do any work on thursday nights anyway. but i reach school at 8:33am, and go to homeroom, and then my locker, when i found out :

I HAVE A SPARE THIS MORNING.

which meant i could have slept in an hr or so more.
which meant i wouldnt be contsantly producing tears from all the yawning.
which meant i could be in a better mood from more sleep, instead of avoiding everyone, typing this entry during recess. which is about over.

this reminds of me why i am avoiding this particular person. now, when i start talking about it, im calm n rational. by the time im halfway done, im dissing the shit outta him and complaining to God (which i never ever do) and plunging into a state of depression. which really shouldnt be.

Code name: John ( i use john for everything- and xiao ming too)
status: Acquintance (yes! u know! that thing which says we're not REALLY FRIENDS. not yet at least)
How it started:
i knew john through a friend of mine, and he was alright.. nothing weird or special about him. (we're still acquintances). before long he got my email add and added me on msn. soon enough, we start chatting online...u could say it was about personal stuff, which could warrant him thinking we're best chums now, but to me, it was nothing personal at all. or maybe i was in a sharing mood tt day. ( still acquintances) and then i started our to notice that convos bordered on melodramatic and emo. tts when i decided i didnt want to constantly chat with someone about how messed up his life is right now, esp when i dun get a shit. not to say tt if my friend started to mess up his life but that i wouldnt give a fuck, but the keyword here is: ACQUINTANCES. so i AM allowed to not care about you.
n so john started to give me the cold shoulder while i remained suspicious. and then suddenly.. one day.. while john was hugging some other randoms, he asked me if i wanted a hug too, just as i was walking away to the library (actually i was like 10 from him by the time he asked) and so i was SMILING n said nahhh.. and i heard him mumble 'bitch'
how it ended: and i wasnt about to question him about it and cause a scene outside the economics room. so i was like :" THATS IT! UR OFF MY ACQUITANCES LIST! ur now on the WEIRD-GUYS-I- WISH-I-NEVER- MET- LIST.
considering ive been nothing but pleasant to him, and have not yet revealed my inner bitch, so he had NO REASON.
at times like this, i really wished i had a boyfriend in the school. and make him do something about this. sort of like how gabby always shouts to carlos :' Carlos! DO something!" Like when the police came to take their baby away.
i remember the times when i used to shout :"hanafi! make me happy!" or " hanafi!! entertain me!"
yes.. you see? what u see is not what u get. outwardly, i appear soft and acomodating ( why are u laughing jo?), but once u get closer to me, u see im not. and its not easy being my boyfriend.
which leaves me absolutely depressed that i wont be able to find another boyfriend in the near future.
fuckity fuck. i need a man in my life.