Lynn on Finding The One

You might watch movies like Kate and Leopold, You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, etc, and think that there is such a thing called true love. the most deluded amongst us even believe in finding The One. The rest of the world barely manages to tolerate them because their illusions serve as a form of entertainment for the rest of us. Yes, im talking to all the girls ranging from ages 12-60and all the boys ranging from ages17-19.

while i am skeptical of true love (that is not blind or selfish), i have a theory on True Love: THERE IS NO SUCH BLOODY THING.

i elaborate... unlike some species of penguins, humans do not have that One person who is destined to be with them forever and ever and blah. we go through our lives, dating many different people. We meet this person whom we think is The One, but really, we're only saying that so we can continue to lead our safe but ignorant lives. My thinking is that there are at least another 500 people out there, who are just as compatible and suitable to your needs, characteristics and lifestyle. Who make us feel the same way, and even possibly give us more orgasms in one night. Yet, we stick our heads in the sand and trick ourselves into thinking this person is The One. The reason why we end up marrying The One, as opposed to the hundrends of potential other ones, is that we marry the most ideal one, based on context.

by context i mean, time, age, place, job, lifestyle, etc. Your overall 'current situation'.
You're 38. you've married your One. At work you meet this hot ass older man who knocks you off your feet. The chemistry between you is of galactic (is tt even a word?) scale. Even more so than what you and your husband shared when you were first dating (we make allowanced for marriage ruining the sex life). so, why isnt this guy The One? Despite the fact that he make you so perfectly and simply, happy, he is not The One. Why? You're married, you have 2 kids, you're 38 and really shouldnt be acting like a teenager in love.

I'm 18. Im dating a guy who i can see marrying in 10 years time (ignoring the fact that if it wasnt because of the fact that my parents hate him and that i would have to convert my religion). He makes me laugh and feel special, and is one of the few people a can truly truly talk to, and i can see us go the distance. Yet, I know that there is just nooooo way I am actually going to marry him.

I meet him 10 years later, he has a stable income, and is ready to settle down. He suddenly pulls a 'candidate shift' to being The One. Assuming we break up tomorrow, how will I ever know if he was in fact The One, if only I met him in a later part of my life?

You think someone isnt ideal for You but isnt just that that someone isnt ideal for your current situation?